Say It With A Song
by Rach Raff
Summary: Sara leaves a CD for Grissom when she leaves...but will Griss' discover to late the true meaning of the lyrics? No characters are mine except "DJ Renee" and the Stranger. Enjoy and R & R!


He swallowed hard lifting the sleeve off of the nightstand. A burned CD glared up at him from the wreckage of his relationship. In Sara's scrawl were two words burning a hole into his heart.

"For Grissom"

Trembling he slid the CD out of the sleeve and gently passed the round disc into the tray. He paused before pushing play and lowered his tired body onto his bed.

"He turns in his dream,  
an exquisite extreme unknown.  
He's as damned as he seems,  
but more heaven than a heart could know."

Kelly Clarkson's smooth voice echoes through the empty bedroom and Grissom closes his eyes.

"_And if I could hold on through the tears and the laughter  
__Would it be beautiful or just a beautiful disaster."_

Again her last email to him haunted him. **_"You said some things before I left, things I tried not to hear._**

**_…You were right._**

**_I'm happy._**

He wiped a tear away as Hank jumped up on the bed, droopily staring at his master. He lowered his head on his paws and gazed up at Grissom.

"I'm alright buddy."

A gentle whimper escapes the pooch as the second song begins.

* * *

"_This time, this place.  
__Misused, mistakes  
__Too long, too late  
__Who was I to make you wait?"_

Sara held her breath as the familiar tune rolled through her room.

"Don't you love Nickelback," her roommate on the cruise asked?

"Yeah, they're great." She sighed, secretly hoping Grissom had found the CD and understood.

_"I love you, I've loved you all along and I miss you. Been far away for far too long."_

* * *

"_The smell of your skin lingers on me now  
__You're probably on your flight back to your hometown.  
__I need some shelter of my own protection baby.  
__Be with myself and center clarity, peace serenity."_

Grissom listened intently to the lyrics realizing the message behind every song.

"G-d Sara. How I must've hurt you."

Hank raised his head at the sound of Gil's voice and rolled over looking for a belly rub. Grissom obliged and offered a soft smile.

The dog, unamused, stretched and clumsily jumped off the bed.

"Yeah, I miss her too."

"_I hope you know, I hope you know,  
that this has nothing to do with you.  
____It's personal, myself and I  
We got some straightening up to do  
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses her blanket  
But I've gotta get a move on with my life  
And big girls don't cry."_

* * *

The radio played gently in the background as a flood of tears rolled down her cheeks.

_"It's been the longest winter without you  
I didn't know where to turn to  
See somehow I can't forget you  
After all that we've been through…"_

Phillip, the marine biologist, packed his backpack of what few items he had into a book bag.

"I can't say I'm sorry enough."

"Not as sorry as I," he said softly, gazing at her over his wire-rimmed glasses and scoffed. "I hope this Gil you dream of, loves you half as much as I do."

Sara reached up to touch his weathered cheek and kissed him gently on the lips. He planted a kiss on her forehead and quickly left the room, only pausing long enough in the doorway to turn and sadly smile.

Then he was gone and she was left with a cold pillow and the waning memory of a dream he had awakened her from to ask why she'd been muttering Gil, for the third night, as she slept.

Although the dream had faded from her conscience the harm it had caused in her relationship could never be undone.

_"Thought I couldn't live without you  
It's gonna hurt when it heals too  
It'll all get better in time  
And even though I really love you  
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to  
It'll all get better in time…"_

* * *

His hand still on her doorknob he turns and faces his car, Heather's perfume still caressing his nostrils.

She'd held him all night and in the morning they'd made love and he'd known it was wrong but he couldn't stop himself, and now it was over and he had rid his system of her drug.

"Heather, stay," he'd known what he said and yet he realized now and hoped it wasn't too late.

As he held the phone to his ear he trembled, thinking about all he'd left unsaid, the CD whirred quietly in his car stereo. The last song replaying in his mind.

_I'm holdin' on your rope,  
Got me ten feet off the ground.  
And I'm hearin' what you say,  
But I just can't make a sound.  
You tell me that you need me,  
Then you go and cut me down...  
But wait...  
You tell me that you're sorry,  
Didn't think I'd turn around...  
And say..._

"Thank you for calling Renee, please hold."

Muzak tinkled in his ear and he thought about hanging up, then a familiar voice came on the line and he knew.

**"_Sometimes not making a decision is making a decision."_**

_I need you like a heart needs a beat,  
But it's nothin' new.  
I loved you with a fire red,  
Now it's turnin' blue...  
And you say...  
Sorry, like an angel  
Heaven let me think was you...  
But I'm afraid...__  
It's too late to apologize.  
It's too late…_

"Hi, I'm Gil. I wanted to request a song for a woman I've hurt."

"Tell me your story?" Renee's voice inquired down the line.

"She was…is the love of my life and I pushed her away with my negligence. Now I don't know where she is but I do know she loves late night love songs and I guess I'm just hoping … where ever she is...she's happy.

"What's this amazingly tolerant woman's name?"

"Sara," he said and requested a song he'd thought long and hard about before choosing.

* * *

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry  
You don't know how lovely you are  
I had to find you, tell you I need you  
Tell you I set you apart  
Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions  
Oh let's go back to the start…_

As she gazed out of the taxi at the Las Vegas airport fading behind her, reminiscing about "his request," now a podcast on her iPod, she saw a familiar car, too familiar, in a ditch, the last of the embers still glowing hot in the chilly air.

She asked the cabbie to pull over and pulled one of her ear buds from her ears.

Crime Scene Investigators and Haz-Mat employees shook their heads as they surrounded the car. A stranger sat in the back of an ambulance, reeking of cheap vodka and stale beer.

Then she saw Catherine and her stomach filled with lead.

Catherine looked up as Sara neared and mumbled….

"He was coming to get…to try to...and now he's…"

Her voice trailed off as Sara's eyes followed the stretcher and the white sheet and she knew…

It really was too late to apologize.

_Nobody said it was easy  
Oh it's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said that it would be this hard  
Oh take me back to the start…_

Finis.

**Thanks to Kelly Clarkson, Nickelback, Fergie, Leona Lewis, OneRepublic and Coldplay!**


End file.
